Tomato-Oatmeal Conditioner

For oily skin.

1 ripe tomato
3 or 4 tablespoons oatmeal

Powder oatmeal in blender, then remove. Purée tomato in blender. Remove. Combine powdered oatmeal and tomato, then apply to face. The mixture will be sloppy, so wear a plastic shower cap to protect hair. Even better, use right before shampooing your hair. Lie down, and after 20 minutes or so, rinse off the conditioner with very hot water – as hot as you can stand it – to help dissolve excess oil. Follow with your favorite acid mantle.